What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Century-Long Study Reveals Startling Differences in Life Expectancy Across U.S. States - SciTechDaily

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why do people still think Michael Jackson was guilty?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Why do Trump supporters believe Trump should deport the immigrants? These people you call "illegal immigrants" have lived here for many years, they have houses, jobs, how can you think they will just go back to their country, where they have nothing?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Will Canadians still buy American products?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Why do people who aren't trans feel the need to put pronouns next to their name or picture? It seems so cringeworthy to me, to participate in that SJW paradigm of thought, like they are a spineless person who just goes along with the trends.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Who are the IT boys of the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th generation in K-pop?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What are the extra benefits of a smart TV?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Why do I smell bad even though I have good hygiene?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Is it because Trump is impulsive that he is never on time?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why did Amazon initially deny leave of absence to Alexis Scott-Windham, the Amazon worker who survived the New Orleans terrorist attack?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

What baseball stories from the early days of the sport seem too bizarre to be true?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”